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Allergic to Change

As I sat listening to testimonies today the thought came to me that I know what my whole problem has been these past few months. I am allergic to change. Seriously… I sit on the same bench in the same spot every Sunday… I’m pretty sure I consistently bounce back to the same haircut time after time and wonder why I am in such a despite need of an update… I’ve lived in the same house for the past 15 years and I don’t plan on moving any time soon… before that I went to college and lived in the same spot there and before that I lived in the same house for 18 years… I turn to the same food (chocolate) even though they really don’t hit the spot… I resist pretty much everything that causes me to change.


I’m not sure why I resist change so much. Hello! My life is full of change: I have one adult child in the process of making major life decisions; I have 3 teenage kids at home (they can throw change at you like quick firing practice tennis balls); I have a 7 year old who feels she is going on 21 (until she is disappointed and then she wants her mommy); I have a revolving door of people coming to my house constantly throwing change into my day; I even bring it on myself like when I tore the house apart and painted just last week. Yet I still resist change; kicking and screaming all the way about how much I don’t like this (hmmm… reminds me of the day I first met my husband and my friends were dragging my kicking and screaming into a play audition. That should have been a “wake up” call for me and “Run for the hills” sign for him. LOL).

I’m a little perplexed about the whole thing. Why is it that when we head in the right direction, when we are about to get what we have been seeking for, we resist it?

Curious about this topic, I did a quick Google search after church and found that more than 36 million web pages refer to people's resistance to change. I was disappointed to find out I was not the first person to notice the people can be allergic to change.

Grace Murray Hopper was quoted saying, “Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’ I try to fight that. That’s why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise.”

Rats! I guess I won’t be getting rich coining that phrase. Someone beat me to it!

I wonder what is the key factor in resisting change especially “change” for the better?

Perhaps it is fear; fear of the un-known; fear of success; fear of being less loved.

Perhaps it is the God-complex; the I-must-know-everything syndrome; the I-must-be-right axiom; the I-must-be-right-every-time law; the I-know-more-than-them-so-I-am-responsible-for-everything jeopardy.

It’s not like I catch myself wandering around muttering “I-am-perfect; I-make-no-mistakes.” I am far too well brought up (well read, programmed or conditioned) for that. Most of the time I am not aware of the underlying belief that I am not allowed to fail.

Wait a second… this sound suspiciously like the “natural man” complex.

I am reminded that the point of this life is really all about change. (I better find a way of getting over my change allergy). Mosiah 3:19 says, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

I have been placed here to overcome my natural tendencies; to discover the real me, the celestial me. In fact, the uncomfortable process of change is to help me. I wonder what the little piece of coal is thinking as the pressure and heat of change challenges its very make-up until it stops being coal and becomes a diamond.

I think the most difficult thing about change is having an open mind; a mind willing to learn from and because of the opposition I face in change.

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so… righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one…” (2 Nephi 2:11).

Resisting change is like holding your breath; if you succeed, you die.

LOL. Goofy but true! When you really stop to think about it, the only reason I have for making it through the change is the Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the catalyst that allows the chemistry to change; the pressure to be bearable; the light at the end of the tunnel. Through a complete embrace of Him and His saving grace becoming a diamond it not only doable it far shorter than when I resist change. In fact, the point of all change is to become more like him; more charity; more obedience; more humble; more diligent; more purity.

If I could develop this attitude of welcoming and embracing change in life, stress and resentment will be a thing of the past. I could succeed in shedding the “natural man” and become “Celestial Girl” (thanks my little friend Janay who just stopped by my house and gave me a Celestial Girl starter kit for my future shirt. You made my night. I’ll for sure make a cape and wear this Halloween!)

Sometimes I panic and think I can’t “do” change because I’ve been trying all my life in to build security and permanence. I just need to take solace from the fact that nothing in this universe is permanent accept God. Trust in Him. He can make change happen in the quickest and most painless way if we trust Him. I also need to remember that my body is changing every single second; nature around me is changing every moment; everything is changing. Seriously… isn't it foolish on my part in trying to resist change? Won't it relieve me of a huge burden when I start accepting change?

When it comes to my health I am a success at resisting making healthy changes in my diet and mostly, my exercise regime.

Whatever you resist persists – if I didn’t have resistance I wouldn’t understand the desire for the opposite of what I’m currently doing.

Come on Wendy… resistance is futile!

I did remember that I committed to riding my bike everyday for a week while my ankle healed. I went for my bike ride this evening with the family… and I lived to report it here. (Although my seven year old was greatly distressed when her dad ditched her at the corner and she had to ride the whole half a block to her house by herself. Thanks dad. ;(). I also waddled up the street, past three houses to the church this morning. My ankle only aches a little and I know I can do it again.

Today was Fast Sunday so I didn’t eat until late in the day. As part of my fast I prayed for family members, my health, and those I know that are struggling with change. When I did eat I kept it under control. My husband tried a new crock pot recipe: Chicken and Green Onion Curry. It was fabulous! I wanted more, but I knew it was only my body responding to the fast so I stuck with one serving. We had rice and I only served up ¾ of a cup and I filled the rest of the plate with salad. It was awesome!

As I finish up my day with my blog I am reminded of these two basic rules of life:

(1) change is inevitable and

(2) everybody resists change. The only person who likes change is a wet baby.

Even at that, most babies I have ever changed still resist the process of getting clean pants. However, when all is said and done everyone benefits from the dirty diaper going out with the trash. Guess it’s time to embrace change.

Comments

  1. i love you. i need to be like heidi, "new diapie pweese!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. amazing. Thank you for writing!

    ReplyDelete

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