Saturday, January 1, 2011

RE-signing as General Manager of the Universe - Chapter 1

1/1/11

“For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.”

- Larry Eisenberg

I have decided to adopt this philosophy this year. In fact I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to my new change… thus the name change.

I’ve known I’ve needed to resign for quite some time now, but I’ve resisted. After all it’s not been about me at all. I simply have had so much to do for everyone else: the community, callings, students, spouse, children, family, friends… It just so much easier to just do it myself… if you know what I mean. I can't control the actions of my spouse, my kids, or others I encounter. I can’t even control how quickly my body reacts to the healthy habits I try to develop.

Why do I worry about what others do or need so much? It’s not like I’m really in charge of the Universe.

Psalm 78.23-25 “Though he had commanded the clouds from above, and opened the doors of heaven, And had rained down manna upon them to eat, and had given them of the corn of heaven. Man did eat angels food: he sent them meat to the full.”

This psalm speaks of abundant provision from the hand of God. I don’t always see it, but in hindsight I’m able to see where His influence and guidance affected most situations. So why do I stress about it so much? It would be safe to say that God commanded “the skies above and opened the doors of the heavens” and “rained down manna” for me to eat each and every day of my life. He has literally sent me and my loved ones “all the food they could eat” just like the Bible promised.

I am a person with a hyper sense of common sense and worry is incompatible with common sense. Still, I worry. My behavior makes no sense. Every day God provides for me and (paradoxically) most days I worry about it. I occasionally consider worry to be my obligation. In some weird sense, the logic almost does make sense... ‘If I don’t worry I will become lackadaisical and fail to do what it takes to acquire the provision I need.’ Now there’s a twist!

It appears that I’ve decided that my daily routine of worry, not God’s daily influence, assures me and my family of what we need to not only survive, but to thrive. That reminds me of Charles Schulz who once said, “I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time.”

I’m such a Charlie Brown.

The Bible says I should not worry…

Matthew 6.30-34 “Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

I should resign as general manager of the universe. God has always provided (a statement of fact) and He always will (a statement of faith). I am going to see what I can do to see the humor and goodness of every situation. I am going to let the people around me choose for themselves without attaching guilt and responsibility for their choices to myself. I’m going to be happy with the body God gave me and move on. I’ll still strive to eat better and learn to like to exercise daily, but I’m not going to obsess about stuff. My blog will hopefully reflect that in the new year. It’s not about resolutions it’s about a new look at life. With that being said, here is my long overdue letter of resignation

Dear Residents of the Universe,

We have been together for a little over 4 decades now, we’ve had our ups and downs, our laughs and our good times… That’s why it is so difficult for me to say this.. but I can’t hold onto it any longer, because you have been great and you deserve the truth. I am resigning as the General Manager of the Universe.

Things being as they are, I feel I am not cut out to be the General Manager of the Universe—I will never have the qualifications in this life needed to fulfill this unenviable, thankless, and increasingly frustrating job.

To be an General Manger, one must be courteous, diplomatic, shrewd, persuasive, , even-tempered, slow to anger, a Sherlock Holmes, up-to-date, good looking, and in possession of a photographic memory. Additionally, a General Manager of the Universe must be an expert in various weapons systems, and the embodiment of virtue… with a good working knowledge of sin and evil in all of its forms. A GM must have a detailed understanding of all types of devices that can cause death and despair (both currently available and planed for future release) and what can cure all that ails the human race, as well as electricity, engineering, physics and politics, chemistry and causeways, mechanics and manufacturing, and finally horse trading and human nature – not to mention medicine, psychology, interior design. Of course, it helps to be a mind reader, a hypnotist and an athlete.

I obviously don’t have ALL these skills. Only one guy I know does. He was crucified nearly 2000 years ago, I feel it is impossible for me to achieve the ranks of a good General Manager of the Universe (though am I have trying my utmost in my daily personal life to emulate him.) Therefore, without further ado and for the benefit of all, I, being diminished in mental and physical capacity, do herewith relinquished all rights, claims, and titles, both past, present, and future, as General Manager of the Universe. No longer need to try to make decisions for everyone. No longer do I need to take responsibility for the bad choices my loved one make.

Don’t be upset, you’ve done nothing wrong because it’s not you, it’s me. I need to make some changes and get on with my life. Things here have been hard and I need to move on, and work in new places, try out different things.

I’m sure we will all get used to the new arrangements. My motto for 2011 will be Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding… and to laugh more.

Sincerely,

Me

(Thanks to my favorite artist James C. Christensen for sharing the perfect image of my former position. "The reason it isn't called The Burden of the Responsible Woman is that she's so busy she doesn't have time to be burdened! "Specifically, what you have here is 'woman as a spiritual leader,'" says Christensen. "She has a candle, which is my way of showing that she is carrying the torch, leading the way. You notice that she has spare candles. Candles are symbols of light and wisdom. She also has a many-handed clock, which could mean several things, and then there is a compass, I put that in at the last minute, because today's woman really has to try to find her direction. The compass is there to help her figure out which way she's trying to go.")

2 comments:

  1. 'Tis about time, Sis! We shall work on this together...I'll be your "Take-care-of-your-own-issues-because-a)Wendy-has-enough-of-her-own-and-b)you-were-sent-her-to-learn,-not-be-instructed-in-all-things-so-get-a-life" bouncer!No worries, Sis! I got your back AND front....err, doors, that is! LOL!

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