Skip to main content

Beating the Green-eyed Monster of Jealousy

I'm not typically a jealous person. Granted, I do have my moments, there are fewer and fewer moments when I look at successful parents, artist, spouses, and even family relationships and think, “Why, oh why, can't that be me?" But mostly, I see successful people and am inspired by them.

Envy rears its ugly head when someone has a thing or benefit you want for yourself - a bigger office, a better body, a bigger paycheck, more attention, a special privilege.

Both envy and jealously are fanned by the perception that a "winner" had an unfair advantage. The jealous or envious person finds themselves constantly thinking about the situation, wondering when their "turn" at recognition is going to come.

I think I’m struggling with a bit of envy and a bit of “it’s not fair.”

I’m jealous of people who can eat whatever they want and gain nothing… and don’t even “have to” exercise.

I am tired of eating another carrot and my friends and family get to enjoy their 4th cream puff and even a piece of toast! Imagine! I am jealous of toast!

I’m envious of people who can have perfect, trusting, supportive relationships with other… who always know where they stand.

I am jealous of people who receive accolades for the work well done… when I have worked just as hard and have sacrificed equally, if not more, without so much as a thank you.

I even find myself resentful of support others receive through their struggles while I often feel as though I am drowning in chaos with a heavy heart by myself.

The dictionary definition of jealousy is the fear of being displaced in affection. Hmmm….

As one of the “seven deadly sins”, jealousy is one emotion all people should seek to master early.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be people with disease who have eaten healthy and exercised all their lives.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be dreams coming true for the seemingly “unworthy”.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or someone wouldn’t be able to take credit for someone else’s work and to be rewarded for it.

Life isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be people who feel lonely in a crowd or feel like there is no one there for them because all attention is going to others that know how to squeak.

So, as tough as it is, I need to acknowledge those feelings of jealousy, or I will never have an opportunity to move past it. Controlling my jealousy and my eating and my lack of motivation and my tendency to compare my situation to the situations of others will have a huge impact on my health in the long run.

Time to get this under control!

Negative emotions can be exhausting. They cause me to lose my focus on my goals. Rather than thinking about the situation, I need to take control by making conscious choices about what I want in my life.

Maybe the best advice comes from a Dove candy wrapper I picked up off the floor… It’s ok to be fabulous and flawed.

That’s me… fabulous and flawed.


  1. I'm glad you are fabulous and flawed! I don't think I'd love you the same if you weren't! :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book of Mormon Study... Title page and testimony of the witnesses

According to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “the title-page of the Book of Mormon is a literal translation, taken from the very last leaf, on the left hand side of the collection or book of plates, which contained the record which has been translated, the language of the whole running the same as all Hebrew writing in general; and that said title page is not by any means a modern composition, either of mine or of any other man who has lived or does live in this generation” (History of the Church, 1:71).

That means it’s scripture too! That is why today I start my Book of Mormon study with the title page.

I am part of the House of Israel. My children and their children are a part of the House of Israel. This Book is written for me and for them.

I love that the Title page declares that this book is a “gift”… now this book I am marking will become a “gift” for my grandson. How cool is that? I feel like Nephi, writing my testimony of Jesus Christ and of the gospel plan as I study God’s word so …

An Open Letter to Those Who Hate The School Dress Code

I have noticed a ton of resistance to dress codes in schools.  I have something to say... get over it.  
A dress code is not about body shaming.  It is not about control.  It's not about taking away individuality. The dress code is not about making social divisions.  It is not about taking away individual rights.
A dress code is about keeping a professional environment where real work happens.  Contrary to popular belief, woman don't get to wear whatever they want when ever they want in "the real world." Every profession has some kind of dress code.  Nurses, doctors, real estate brokers, vets, and even McDonald's workers have a dress code.  Even farmers and day labors wear clothing appropriate to the work they do.  School is a professional environment where the student's "job" is to be the student - to learn - and the teachers' job is to open the possibilities in young minds and to create an environment where people - all people - can learn.  Th…

Once-a-Slightly Over Month Cooking

Today may be the last day of the year, but it was the first day of the month around the Boyack house.  Today was Once-a-Month-Cooking day.  The funny thing is that it usually ends up lasting longer than a month.  Our last big cooking day lasted from September to now.  The thing is, I don't always pull from the freezer.  Weekend we cook from scratch.  However, with my voice lessons in late afternoons and sometimes play practice or performance I am too tired to think about dinner.  Making dinner ahead saved me so much money from September to Christmas that I was able to pay for half of Christmas from the savings from the food budget.  Plus, we had much healthier meals!

After collecting which recipes we wanted to make, and making a shopping list, John headed to the store around noon.  We started the cooking and assembly around 1:00 and ended all the cooking by 7:00.  In that time we made 35 dinners.  We have the fix-in's in the cupboard to make 15 more quick and easy meals.  We …