Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Beating the Green-eyed Monster of Jealousy

I'm not typically a jealous person. Granted, I do have my moments, there are fewer and fewer moments when I look at successful parents, artist, spouses, and even family relationships and think, “Why, oh why, can't that be me?" But mostly, I see successful people and am inspired by them.

Envy rears its ugly head when someone has a thing or benefit you want for yourself - a bigger office, a better body, a bigger paycheck, more attention, a special privilege.

Both envy and jealously are fanned by the perception that a "winner" had an unfair advantage. The jealous or envious person finds themselves constantly thinking about the situation, wondering when their "turn" at recognition is going to come.

I think I’m struggling with a bit of envy and a bit of “it’s not fair.”

I’m jealous of people who can eat whatever they want and gain nothing… and don’t even “have to” exercise.

I am tired of eating another carrot and my friends and family get to enjoy their 4th cream puff and even a piece of toast! Imagine! I am jealous of toast!

I’m envious of people who can have perfect, trusting, supportive relationships with other… who always know where they stand.

I am jealous of people who receive accolades for the work well done… when I have worked just as hard and have sacrificed equally, if not more, without so much as a thank you.

I even find myself resentful of support others receive through their struggles while I often feel as though I am drowning in chaos with a heavy heart by myself.

The dictionary definition of jealousy is the fear of being displaced in affection. Hmmm….

As one of the “seven deadly sins”, jealousy is one emotion all people should seek to master early.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be people with disease who have eaten healthy and exercised all their lives.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be dreams coming true for the seemingly “unworthy”.

Life clearly isn’t fair, or someone wouldn’t be able to take credit for someone else’s work and to be rewarded for it.

Life isn’t fair, or there wouldn’t be people who feel lonely in a crowd or feel like there is no one there for them because all attention is going to others that know how to squeak.

So, as tough as it is, I need to acknowledge those feelings of jealousy, or I will never have an opportunity to move past it. Controlling my jealousy and my eating and my lack of motivation and my tendency to compare my situation to the situations of others will have a huge impact on my health in the long run.

Time to get this under control!

Negative emotions can be exhausting. They cause me to lose my focus on my goals. Rather than thinking about the situation, I need to take control by making conscious choices about what I want in my life.

Maybe the best advice comes from a Dove candy wrapper I picked up off the floor… It’s ok to be fabulous and flawed.

That’s me… fabulous and flawed.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you are fabulous and flawed! I don't think I'd love you the same if you weren't! :)