Warning: Reading these musings may cause the reader to wonder, ponder health, mental or spiritual matters, scratch their head, be informed yet gain zero useful information or breakout in laughter. All thoughts are the property of my pea sized brain. All the information is as true as I beleive it to be... as I walk the journey of "releasing with a vote of thanks" my fat cells for a job well done.
talk really got me thinking.Bare with
me as I ramble about all the things that have been rolling around in my head
since I readElder D. Todd
Christofferson’s talk, Brethren We Have Work To Do.It’s a long winded rant.
am all about progress. I like the progress that society has made for the
equality of women in a historically predominant male hierarchy. I am not a wimp. I will take apart a vacuum
or a drain… I will wield a drill and use a chop saw. I've even scraped an engine block
before. I grew up when “I can bring home
the bacon and fry it up in a pan ‘cause I’m a woman” was THE catch phrase. I
think the sexes should be given equal opportunity and power… equal yet
different. That being said, there is
another problem beginning to lurk in the doorways of social structure. With
women on the rise, men are being emasculated.
right ladies. If you are asking “Where
have all the real men gone?” you need to look at yourself as much as you look
Back in the day, men
were made to be bold, strong, leaders.
However, our society has attempted to repress these traits. Where there was inequality before, there
is inequality again. But it has just flip-flopped positions. If you look at the way men (especially dads) are portrayed
on TV, you’d think most men were all a bunch of irresponsible, befuddled,
nincompoops, who can only function with the help of a “smart” female partner,
friend, or spouse. I see men depicted as incompetent, self-absorbed
It hasn't been enough for women to be on an equal plain as men. Society takes one step
more and puts down. For example, it’s not enough for women to join the
workplace as equal career partners being mothers. They have to make men seem
incapable of performing their former duties in the home.
seem to recall a Huggies commercial that caused a lot of controversy for this
very reason. Men were portrayed as being incompetent at raising children,
particularly at changing diapers. They were also shown as self-absorbed,
consumed with watching sports and neglecting their babies. Why can men and
women have equal place in the workforce, but only women can be good at raising
children? Why is a father’s role being downplayed and degraded to make women
feel more equal? Both sexes should be viewed as being competent in both work
and parentroles. That would be
society has the notion that for women to achieve true equality with men, they
must be one step ahead, slightly raised on the pedestal of power. Elder
Christofferesen spoke to men and
encouraged them to not give themselves an excuse to mold into these portrayals
incompetent, self-absorbed or weak men.
their zeal to promote opportunity for women, something we applaud, there are
those that denigrate men and their contributions. They seem to think as life as
a competition between male and female. That one must dominate the other. And
now it’s the women’s turn . . . this cultural emasculation of men is having a
damaging effect,” Elder D. Todd Christofferson said.
I do think we are contributing to this problem.
I have observed
that many boys are confused and have no idea what it takes to be a real
man. They seek inappropriate role models and emulate the bad behavior that they
see on a regular basis.
It is our duty as mothers,
wives, and responsible citizens to counter these negative images and raise
a new generation of men who are respectful, loving, and willing to contribute
to society in a positive way.
not only a problem with our sons. I
believe we are propitiating the problem with our husbands. We complain about
income. We step in and take over
spiritual responsibilities of the family.
We whine about our place in the family, rather than rejoicing in the
equal, yet separate roles GOD HAS GIVEN US…. BOTH.
me. I learned this the hard way.
woman wants her man to a man but modern ladies struggle to allow him the space
to do just that. Worse yet, in an effort
to be his equal, we woman have made this a competition… which means there are losers.
And we are all losers when the competition gets rolling. While seeking to be “partners” we may be rob
him of his manhood altogether.
Author Harvey C. Mansfield opined, “We
are attracted to the manly man because he imparts some of his confidence to
Ladies, are we raising men or are we
Manly men—past and present—have
captivated the world with their talents, leadership, oratory skills, and
virility. They are strong, protective, and brave. We honored men of integrity filled with
supernatural discernment and strength. They
are fathers, gentlemen, husbands, friends, and neighbors. They are innovators,
pioneers, and model citizens. Simply put, manly men are invincible.confidence and guidance. They make us feel safe and comfortable.
They lead us and represent us. They protect us from harm’s way here and abroad.
Without them, civilization would cease to exist.
What makes a real man?
There is a common misunderstanding that manhood is like a
spectrum. On one side you have the macho guy barking orders from his garage,
demanding another beer. He thinks his family exists to serve him. He takes the
first and best in every situation because he thinks he’s entitled. He demands
respect while refusing to earn it. His children despise him and his wife fears
him. That’s not a man.
On the other end of this distorted spectrum is the cowardly guy
who won’t take responsibility for his life. He waits for others to do things
for him. His failures and shortcomings are someone else’s fault. He won’t stepup, stand up, man up, and grow up.
He’s not a man.
I know both.
Somewhere in between these two distorted views, we have a
real man. He avoids both extremes. He works a steady job, but it’s a safe and
boring existence. He doesn't make waves, because he’s not moving. He’s
considered pleasant because he isn't hot or coldabout
anything. He sits in the mushy middle, which is right where he’s told to be. He doesn't offend or inspire. He doesn't thrive or wither. He just sort of…
I know this guy too!
This idea that a real man is someone who falls in the mushy
middle is simply wrong. A man is not a hybrid; a passive ogre. He’s a different
Seriously! What is
a REAL man?
Mulan would say,
“(Be a man) We must be swift as the coursing river (Be a man) With all the force of a great typhoon (Be a man) With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon”
A real man is a man of integrity.Integrity
is more than being honest. It’s a lifestyle set on striving towards moral
excellence. Real men say what they mean and mean what they say. They
are the same person whether or not others are watching. They are trustworthy, dependable, and unwavering.
real man has compassion. Compassion is
sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to
alleviate it. In other words, you feel compelled to help someone who is
hurting. Men aren't often viewed as being compassionate, but it is a trait that
helps us to become more connected to the people around us. Real men turn their compassion into
service and work to make the world a better place.
real man is confidant. Many
people confuse confidence with arrogance and self-centered-ness. Real men know the difference.
Confidence is about being self-assured and self-aware. Confident men have faith
in their abilities and knowledge. They don’t need to tear others down in order
to build themselves up. They earn people’s trust with their radiant, inner
strength. When a they walk into the room, everyone takes notice.
real man has self control. Hardly a day goes by without a news report
about some high-profile man who has been destroyed by sex, money, and/or drugs.
Too many men lack self-control, but it is the foundation of a virtuous
life. Self-control starts with focus and ridding yourself of distractions.
Doing this isn't easy because temptations lurk around every corner. Real men are able to tame their desires
and channel that energy into positive pursuits.
men persevere. Perseverance
is the product of self-control. It is courageous resistance against difficult
circumstances. Perseverance is only developed through trials. Real men endure the trials and emerge
stronger. They never give up, never surrender. J
men are brave. Bravery is the courage to do what is right regardless of
the circumstances. Nothing is ever accomplished with an attitude of passivity. Real men stand up in the face of
men are humble. Today’s breed of
young men loves to let everyone know how much swagger they have. They thump
their chests and proclaim to the world, “I’m a Big Deal. Look at me!” Real men understand the value of being
humble and letting someone else’s light shine. They realize that
humility is more endearing than self-importance. Humility indicates that you
are ridding yourself of the poison of self-centered-ness. Besides, humility
softens the blow when someone knocks you off your pedestal.
Real men create margins in their lives and the lives of
others around them. They don’t weigh
people down, but lift them up. This extends to all areas of life. They make
more money than they spend. They accomplish more work than they create. They
encourage more than they discourage. Others are better for knowing them. That’s
Real men are
tender. When a man’s nine
year old daughter gives him an I Love You valentine — in September — it affects
him. Deeply. He realizes there are times to be tough, and there are times when
toughness would be out of place. He gives her the biggest hug he can muster, and
he may even shed a tear, because that’s part of manhood, too.
men are always improving. Men keep pushing
themselves in all areas of life, striving to improve. They have a stack of
books they’re waiting to read, and a larger stack they've already tackled. They
can run farther this year than last. They are more knowledgeable now than ever
before. They are more skilled in their trade than in any point in their life.
Improvement doesn't stop until their heartbeat does.
Real men know
what to fight for.We've all known a guy who will fight anyone,
any time, for any reason. Bump into his shoulder in passing and you’ll have a
fight on your hands. Real men know some things are worth defending, while other
things are trivial. They don’t confuse the two. That doesn't mean that punches
fly. Words are the weapon of our modern
culture, and men know how to use them to defend these they've sworn to protect.
They use this weapon in unjust situations against abusive people. They wield
their weapons with patience, cunning, and great skill acquired through
men do hard things. This includes a whole host of things. They control their
desires, work hard, sacrifice, demonstrate honesty, and take correction. They
do the right thing, even when it’s the hard thing (which it usually is). They
don’t shy away from discomfort, but embrace it and are all the better for it.
means men need to receive a vision and acquire a dream of bringing deliverance. We need to assist them. It may mean that some men will need to give
up spending all their time on things that only bring satisfaction and pleasure
to themselves. It means that some men
will dedicate themselves to a cause far greater than themselves.
Corinthians 16:13 “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be
I am guilty of giving in to my son’s
whims and lazy attitude in the name of peace.
Today I stepped up my efforts. I
asked him to help with chores. I
expected his school work to get done. I
promised myself to do better at teaching him and expecting him to be a man.
Today I will let my husband bring home
the bacon. I’ll fry it up in the
pan. Work is some much easier when it’s
I sure hope my girls find REAL men in their lives... the alternative hurts and is hard. I hope my son makes it to becoming a REAL man. I'd hate to know I contributed to the heart break of someone else.